Secret Single Behaviour

Secret Single Behaviour

Secret Single Behaviour…oh you know you have some.


Do you remember the episode of Sex and the City where they talk about their secret single behaviour?


Admittedly, I binged on that show for far too long.


I believe Carrie’s involved stacking saltines and eating them standing up in her kitchen. I laughed so hard – I could fully relate to the “standing eating” syndrome #workingonit.


This is the kind of thing we don’t realize could be keeping us from calling in love.


We are subconsciously protecting ourselves from inviting someone into our space and revealing some of this behaviour.


It’s time we shine a bright light on this.


Get honest about some of the things you do/wear/etc on your own time that you would be nervous to show or share with someone else.


Because, it’s quite possible that as much as you’re craving to share space with someone, you’re equally afraid of what they might discover.


In a session with a client yesterday, I asked her what some of these things may be.


The most relevant fear that came up for her was the state of her messy apartment. So that’s where we started.


Her “homework” was to start putting a daily cleaning practice in place (and make it fun!) as step 1, and step 2 would involve a whole lot of decluttering.


She hadn’t realized how much she would be truly mortified to show a man her space.


I can remember back to the early days of Jack and Diana, and my friend said to me “oh, you’re going to have a really hard time moving in with someone because you’re so protective of your time.”


And she was right.


It got me thinking, I need to get more comfortable with sharing more of my time and being more flexible in my routines (like my very early bedtime).


(Those of you reading know: some things start to feel set in stone after years of living alone).


This opened the door for me to envision what it would be like to share a space with Jack.


So I ask you to consider, what are some of your secret single behaviour that you might subconsciously be trying to protect?


And can you…


  1. Accept that they’re there and get comfortable with the idea of revealing them in time.
  2. Decide that some of these things need to go because they’re not aligned with welcoming someone into your life and space.


Let me know what you come up with! I find this to be a truly fascinating aspect of MANifesting a partner.


With love,


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