Am I Being Too Picky?

How do I know if I’m being too picky is a question I’m often asked. 

I get it. 

Are you being too picky and pushing away love? Possibly. 

Are you standing up for what you know you deserve and know you want to experience in love? Also possible. 

Here’s what I know for sure. 

When you start to make gratitude, or as I prefer to say, appreciation, your chosen lens in life - meaning a greater focus on what you love, more than what you don’t so much, you see life from the perspective of what is working well and what you do have, versus what isn’t working so well and what you don’t have… 

When appreciation truly becomes the lens from which you see yourself, people, situations, experiences, life - it becomes that much easier to see the guys you meet from that lens - which obviously opens the doors to more love. 

This doesn’t mean you have to stay with a guy you’re not really feeling it with. 

It does, however, give you the pass to release him when he shows himself not to be a match to what you want. 

And you won’t judge yourself for doing so, because you can rest assured that you’ve been seeing him from a positive lens and that even from inside that of point of view, you know this isn’t the person for you. 

The other more obvious thing to do is to gain clarity on what you want. What do you want to experience in a relationship?

And what qualities does someone need to have to live this vision with you? 

For example, if your core relationship values (beyond honesty and loyalty - let’s assume those are a given!!) are: 

Adventure

Authenticity

Laughter

Passion

etc.  

and you know these values are truly most important to you, then the next step is to reflect on what qualities you would BOTH need to have to live this vision. 

Some of these might include:

 Open-mindedness

Spontaneity

Willingness

Growth

Mindset

Curiosity 

These start to help you envision the person you see yourself with...and hint hint...the type of person you need to step into. 

You don’t need your partner to be a replica of you. 

You do want them to be a complement, however. 

If you’re spontaneous and the person you’re dating is not, what does that mean for you? 

From the lens of appreciation, you’ll be able to see him more clearly. 

You’ll be able to see his already amazing qualities and anchor into whether those are enough for you - knowing you’re someone who appreciates what they already have.  

At the end of the day, this isn’t a decision you can make with your mind. The only thing you can do with your mind is to relax it enough to be able to hear your inner truth. 

And ladies, this takes practice. 

If you regularly choose the perspective of appreciation, you are simultaneously choosing the perspective of love, which - here’s the kicker - is the perspective of your intuition. 

By doing so, you’re regularly tapping into a deeper knowing. That place knows what’s best for you.  

How long you should stay inside of a relationship...or...when you should let it go. 

By choosing the perspective of appreciation, you are building your intuitive muscle. 

And it is your intuition that’s going to guide you towards the answer to the question: 

Am I being too picky, or am I choosing what I know I deserve? 

With love,

Diana