Through The Lens of Your Past Relationship, You Make Your Present and Future Bright

Does the idea of keeping the romance alive in your relationship years after you’ve been together sound crazy? Now throw in a baby or two (or three, four, you get the picture) and it may sound downright impossible.

Well, I’m here to tell you that it isn’t impossible; it is actually, very possible to keep that same feeling of being in love that you had in the “honeymoon” phase of your relationship. And the best part is it doesn’t involve any grand gestures, complicated lingerie or endless hours of expressing your love for each other - though these things are obviously great, too.

What it does involve is a pause, deep breath and conscious choice to see your partner, and your relationship through the lens of your early relationship days.

Remember that feeling you got when you saw them pulling up to your house for a date, or that swelling of your heart when they first told you they loved you? This is where we’re going to back to. For some of you, this may be way back. For Jack and I, this is 5 years and a few months back.

As you may know, Jack and I started dated in 2013. We got married in 2016 and had our baby on the second last day of 2017. We went from living in oDoes the idea of keeping the romance alive in your relationship years after you’ve been together sound crazy?ur separate apartments, to owning a home together, joining all our finances, sharing in daily responsibilities and raising a little human. Needless to say, it’s easy to get caught up in seeing Jack as a means to an end - a helper to assist me in keeping a clean home, organized life and a happy, healthy, fed baby. In this state of “get shit done” I lose sight of Jack, as the man that I admire, adore, respect and love so deeply. In this state, I’m more easily frustrated, more easily set off and I can be somewhat snippy. It’s not a good look, especially for a Love Coach.

This is when I reach into my metaphorical toolbox and remember to pause, breathe and look at him through the lens of our past.

I look at him and remember those early days when I was so excited about him, when I lovingly observed every freckle on his face, and so deeply appreciated every word that he said. I also stop to ask myself how this interaction would go if it was earlier on in our relationship. The answer is usually that I would be calmer, cooler and more interested in the health of our relationship, than being right.

Every time I do this, every single time, I’m able to fall back, choose to smile instead of scorn and remember that our relationship, and the happiness of this wonderful, beautiful man, are more important than clean laundry and even, paid bills.

Life will always throw things at us that distract us from the present moment and from seeing the people we love clearly without the filter of stress and expectations. And instead of surrendering to the idea that this is just how the story goes, you can choose to see things differently. You can choose to see through the lens of your past relationship, to make your present and future bright.

Peace & love,

Diana.