See Him as a Partner, and Not Your Enemy

When you see your partner as a partner and not your enemy, everything starts to change. 

The other day, I was speaking with a woman who was explaining how much she had grown, especially in the context of her love life. 

One piece of evidence that shows this to be true, is when her partner says to her (jokingly, lovingly, and also truthfully), “ok, I think you’ve eaten enough!” and she’s able to laugh it off AND receive it. I

n the past, this would have set her off on a downward spiral. 

When she was explaining this to me, I said to her: “You know what you’re describing? Partnership. What you’re saying is that you allow him to hold you accountable to your goals and to look out for you.” 

Instead of simply being triggered by his comment, she’s embracing and receiving it. Because she knows, it’s actually what she needs. 

She paused, reflected, and responded with “oh my God, that’s exactly what it is. Partnership.” 

Previously she would have been highly triggered, gone on the offensive, and have completely missed the point. 

Her man was not judging her or trying to make her feel bad about herself. 

The message behind his message is, “Hey, you have a goal to eat well, to take care of yourself and to feel great - I’m here to be your mirror and help you stay true to that vision.” 

A life-changing reframe. 

When you can stop seeing your partner as a reminder of your inadequacy, you can start embracing him as a life partner.  

You are here to hold each other whole, to lift each other higher, to think bigger, dream bigger and see bigger, together. 

I found this to be such a beautiful, practical, relatable example for us all, especially as women. 

I know I used to be highly triggered by any comments about my physical appearance (sometimes even by compliments), and it too has been a growing edge for me. 

What I see behind this story is this message: 

When we can truly embrace our partners, as our partners, we can move through this life hand-in-hand, encouraging each other, making each other better and truly being there for one another, without condition. 

So I ask you, what comment does your partner make that often triggers you - and can you look at it differently? 

Let me know! 

With love,

Diana