Balancing Your Personal Growth with Your Relationship Growth

With all this talk about personal development, it’s hard to draw the line. What’s too much? Too little? And how is balancing your personal growth with your relationship growth even possible? 

I hear you, it’s a lot. The internet is getting louder and louder with meditation plans, workout routines, journaling prompts; it can feel like you’re doing all this work on yourself while your partner...well, he isn’t nearly as driven as you. 

I’ve recently felt myself shifting away from working on myself and towards being my best self, and I can slowly feel the balance being restored. 

When we’re in the (necessary) phase of working on ourselves we can often have these very rigid, set in stone routines. You know: sleep at 9pm, wake up at 5am - meditate, journal, exercise, shower, all the things. 

This is amazing, congratulations! Carving out the time to be with yourself and explore your inner world is truly one of the greatest gifts you can give to your relationship. 

AND… 

Once it becomes second nature, it’s a good idea to start being a little more flexible with yourself. 

Stay up later if it means spending more quality time with your man.

Sleep in if it means extra cuddles and more love.

Sit back when you catch yourself talking about one more things you need to get better at as a couple. 

If personal development is meant to improve your life, then let it. 

When I’m asked the question, how do you balance your personal growth with your relationship growth, I understand that what I’m really being asked is how much time do I spend making myself better vs insisting that we spend time to make “us” better. 

And here’s the simple and challenging answer: there isn’t one.

 What you can do is bring a more relaxed, joyful version of yourself into your relationship. This helps soften the harder edges and invites more harmony. 

When your relationship starts feeling like a safer place for both of you, then you can brainstorm together on what would be the next best step for you as a couple. 

Is it time for you to pay attention to your finances? To your health? Do you desire more date nights? A more vibrant sex life?  

Attempting this kind of “work” and growth when the environment is tense is not likely to work out in your favour. 

Allow yourself to actually integrate all that work you’ve been doing on yourself to increase the joy factor in your heart, so much so, that it starts to spill over into your relationship - AND then, talk about the growth you want to experience as a couple. 

With love,

Diana