Paying Attention to the Problem vs. Feeding It

It’s one thing to notice a problem, it’s another thing entirely to indulge in it. Recent world events have had me questioning what it means to acknowledge that something is awry and that measures need to be taken, without expanding the size of the problem. And this is just as relevant in relationships. When something in your relationship triggers you it certainly deserves your attention. 

• Look at it and peel back the layers to see what’s at the core of the issue.

• Ask yourself important questions.

• Have an honest conversation with the other person.

 This is called paying attention - it’s solution-oriented. On the other hand: 

• Complaining to your friends.

• Repeating the problem in your head.

• Making assumptions vs. looking at facts.

 This is feeding the problem - it’s focused on the problem with very little space for resolution. 

Giving your attention to something gives you the opportunity to reassess how you want to show up and move forward (hello COVID-19: staying at home + washing your hands).  

Feeding the problem is like injecting it with steroids - it continues to grow until it becomes a behemoth of a problem, seemingly too large to handle. 

Turning a blind eye is not helpful. 

Neither is staring at it constantly. So make your choice wisely the next time you’re faced with an issue and ask yourself - am I focused on the problem or the solution? 

With love,

Diana