Men Who Take Their Time

He loves me...he loves me not? The beginning of a relationship can be oh so tricky.

When men take their time in relationships, we don't always know how to perceive it. It can be confusing, and we often jump to the conclusion that they're playing us and wasting our time. While this is absolutely true sometimes, it's definitely not the case all the time.

Sometimes, a man goes slowly because he takes relationships seriously. He wants to take his time getting to know you and making sure there's a fit – because when he commits, he does so whole heartedly.

To tell the difference between the two, you need to use your judgment and your intuition. But here's the tricky part: your perspective and beliefs will create the filter through which you see.

At the beginning of my relationship with Jack, my strong intuition and sense of self-respect gave me the clarity I needed in those early days. I was able to truly see him for who he was, not through the lens of my ego and fear, but through the clear eyes of the present moment. I didn’t project my past experiences onto him, and I didn’t worry (most of the time), about what would happen in the future.

This was crucial to the success of our relationship because he took his time to express what he wanted out of the relationship and how he felt for me. And while the old me might’ve gotten into my head about it, I got into the present instead. And to understand him better, I also did some reading about male virgos and how they tend to be in life and relationships. This backed up the pure knowing I had (that sometimes got contaminated with fear), that this guy had impeccable character, that he was around because he was supposed to be and that he was an absolutely beautiful addition to my life. I had trust in him and more importantly, in myself.

I was (more often than not) able to step outside of the egoic mind; the mind that wants to know and control everything, instead of actually feel it. Jack was respectful, reliable and really great company. He made me laugh, he shared his point of view of the world with me, and I felt comfortable in his presence. For better or worse, I knew this was a good person to be spending my time with.

Once Jack expressed his feelings for me, things moved pretty quickly from there. He proposed, we got married and we now have a family together.

It wasn't until later in our relationship that he let me in on some things that we're going on his life in that first year of our relationship, which made him question his ability to be a good partner to me. See that's the thing, without communicating (which he wasn't very good at), without some vulnerability, a lot of things can be left unknown.

It may not always work out the way it did in this story of mine, and it’s not always meant to. Situations are just as different as peoples' motivations and intentions. Some things you'll definitely want to look out for are consistency and reliability (don't accept the hot and cold game), and a person with a pure, unjaded heart. But you don't have to leave as much unsaid as we did for so long, you can and should speak freely about what you want and how you feel, so long as you can own these sentiments and carry them without a heavy weight.

This article isn't intended to make you ignore behaviour that you know deep in your heart isn't aligned with your worth. What it does intend to do, is to help you see that there are different kinds of people and that the truest way to your clarity is by dropping out of your head and into that place where you can access your deeper knowing.

Peace & love,

Diana