How the Masks you Wear Keep you From Love + How it all Changes if you Don't Give a Shit
What would your love life be like if you didn’t give a shit what people thought of you? How would you spend your time? What would you do that you’ve been holding back from? Who would you be?
What I can tell you, is that you’d be yourself. And, you’d be the woman your actual “ideal guy” would worship the shit out of.
The problem is, most of us either hold back out of some deep rooted fear of being judged, or, maybe even more detrimental - believe we’re being ourselves while wearing a mask we’re not even aware of.
And therein lies one of the biggest problems we face as the human race, this hiding of who we truly are.
If we could see, for ourselves and in others, the depths of love and freedom at their truest core, their essence, there would be no denying the attractability of that.
But let’s bring it back to the basics.
If you can care more about how you’re truly being (especially when no one can hear or see you) rather than how you would like to be perceived, you would in one stroke of empowerment attract all you deserve and stop burdening yourself with the pretend opinion of others.
And yet I get, that is a very big ask, even of myself.
So let’s start by identifying all the ways you do hide behind a mask:
Not speaking up when you have something of true value to share
On the flip side of that, you might always have an opinion…because what would be people think if you didn’t have something to say? And what could you possibly learn from someone else if you listened half as much as you spoke? #masks
Needing to be liked and hiding some of the less easy to digest aspects of you
People pleasing while denying your own needs
Leading with sexuality when what you actually want is a relationship
Not having enough sex because you’re too stuck in your mind to enjoy your body
Processing zero of your emotions on your own (because you’re afraid of actually looking at them) and then dumping them on the guy you’re seeing #moremasks
Staying away from talking about your feelings like the plague
…I could have gone on for pages more.
So since we can pretty much guarantee we’re faking it/caring too much what other people think pretty regularly in our lives, how do we start to wear fewer masks?
The first step is to acknowledge that you have myriad of masks that you swiftly exchange throughout your day depending on which part of you you are trying to hide (very quick and subconscious process)
Start identifying even a fraction of those masks (ie. I’m a people pleaser, I hide from my emotions, I never speak up in a group setting out of fear of sounding stupid).
Encourage yourself to practice playing on the other end of the spectrum. For example, if you’re always giving because that’s your way of connecting with people, start accepting even the smallest invitations to be on the receiving end.
Surround yourself with examples and circles of people being the way you want to be.
Accept that you will not do this perfectly, that this a lifelong journey.
And know that it is worth your while to be on this journey of true self-discovery and self-expression; because it is only inside of this truest connection with yourself that you can make the same depth of connection with someone else.
Stick with me girl and like bees to honey, the great men will flock.
Peace & love,
Diana X