Why Self-Love is Key to Your Dating Life

What would you be willing to do to have the kind of relationship you can rely on? The kind that keeps you feeling safe, loved and satisfied?

And what if I told you, it’s easier to have than you might think?

It starts with self-love, self-respect and knowing your worth. Self-love is key to your dating life. It sets the standards for what you will and will not accept and relieves the anxieties you have when you’re dating.

Dating and relationships get exponentially harder when you don’t value yourself because instead of having your self-worth and value as anchors to guide you, you make choices from a place of insecurity & fear, and you’re left “thinking” your way into what to do next, instead of acting from a place of security.

When should I call? What should I say? Will I scare him away?

All of these questions stem from a place of not knowing your true value, and they leave you questioning your every move - and his. Rather than knowing how wonderful and worthy you are, you wonder how the other person will react and how you’ll be perceived.

It’s one thing to consider someone out of respect, it’s an entirely other thing to consider them out of fear of losing them or being too vulnerable. On the flip side, relationships and dating get exponentially easier when you naturally value yourself.

Why?

Because you’ve filled your cup with your own love and you’re not thirsty for anyone’s attention. You’ll show your interest from a genuine place without implying you need that person to validate you. You’re not waiting for them to be the “one”, because you know you’ve already got her (you!).

Loving yourself also makes you more positive and more attractive to positive people.

Your relationships and encounters are a mirror reflection of where you’re at on your self-love journey. If you’re falling for people who don’t treat you right or aren’t available, you need to love on yourself a little more. Otherwise, you’ll keep matching up with people who reflect back to you what you’re missing in yourself. And then, you’ll continue to say things like “men are a**holes” and believe it - because you’re making your own story true.

Your self-love will set the foundation for the kind of relationships you envision, attract and accept. And it will also attract partners who love themselves, just the same.

There was a time where where I wasn’t being fully appreciated in my relationships, because I didn’t fully appreciate myself.

After three back-to-back relationships, I was single for three years; and in that time I practiced a hell of a lot of self-love. This helped navigate my path to meeting a beautiful man I now call my husband - a man, who also loves himself.

But the buck doesn’t stop there. My ability to stay in this positive space sets the tone for our relationship. It shows him how I want and expect to be treated, and it inspires me to love him just the same.

When you appreciate and take care of yourself, you take responsibility for your own happiness and you acknowledge your own self-worth. The moment you make that your partner’s job is the moment the whole thing starts to crumble. You have to really love you, for someone else to really love you.

A question to ask yourself when you’re feeling insure is ‘what would someone who loves themselves do in this situation?’ Then, act from that place.

Self-love really is the secret sauce to the whole damn thing.

Peace and self-love,

Diana