Why It's Good to Take Time Between Relationships

I’m sure you know as well as I do that serial dating isn’t good for anyone. That time between relationships is so important. The question is, why?

Because the space in between events is where your wisdom, your truths and your answers lie.

Assuming this last experience was a significant relationship in terms of the time and emotions invested, then you can’t expect yourself to be unphased by the separation from it. Relationships reach us on an emotional level that not many other things do, and this really is your time to reflect back on the good and the bad.

How did you benefit from this relationship? What did you learn? What do you not want to recreate in your next experience? How was this relationship the same or different from the last? How were you the same or different?

All relationships serve as mirror reflections of what we are and what we're not giving to ourselves - the state of your relationship always reflects the state of your internal landscape.

So ask yourself, what showed up in this relationship good or bad? How were you treated and how did you treat your ex? Were you generally happy, worried, anxious - and how did those emotions show up in your relationship?

The time between relationships is really your opportunity to take inventory and to do some “energetic cleaning” if you will.

Even if you meet someone seemingly amazing after coming out of a relationship, you owe it to yourself and that person to slow down. Otherwise, you’re taking your old stories and your old patterns into this next experience and you’ll create the same outcome. You need silence, just as much as you need engagement, in order to hear your wisdom.I know this from experience.

After three back-to-back relationships, I took the time to be alone and finally sit in the stillness and the uncomfortableness of looking in the mirror. What did my last three relationships reflect back to me?

As much as I didn’t want to face the truth, I wasn’t being fully appreciated in my relationships, because there were many things I didn’t fully appreciate about myself - and I was also leaning on these men for my happiness.

So with this knowledge, I knew just what I had to do: Love and appreciate myself more, and learn how to be happy on my own. I needed to create new patterns and new stories, so that my next relationship, which turned out to be the man I’m now married to, could reflect something new, something perfectly loving.

Slow down, reflect and become the deliberate creator of YOUR love life.

Peace, love and time between relationships,

Ask Diana