5 Ways Jack and I Keep Our Love Strong
The other day Jack and I were sitting on the couch talking about our days; the good, the bad, the hilarious. We were laughing so hard that my belly hurt…and my heart was lit. THIS is what love is to me: deeply enjoying each other’s company, being present with one another and laughing our lives away. Ok, this and a few other key things. These are 5 ways Jack and I keep our love strong.
1. We’re committed to growth:
While Jack and I may be different in many ways, our commitment to growth is what brings it all together. We’re passionate learners - him about how to build things, me about how to manifest with ease (LOL). Same same but different you see? We’re committed to being our best selves and being mindful of the energy we bring to our relationship. We’re not afraid of pointing out our own areas of growth and setting up game plans to help with the change. Like for a while, I had been totally obsessed with getting s**t done in our new home, which was getting in the way of my connection with Jack. So I made a commitment to him and myself that I would take my hands fully off the wheel, and that when we do talk about house things, I would do so from a space of having fun. AND that when I do inevitably slip, he has full permission to call me out;) Being invested in our own growth also requires giving space for each other to grow, even when we feel like that growth could be happening a lot faster. It’s an ebb and flow between growth and what sometimes appears to be stagnation, which always flows back to growth.
2. We spend dedicated time without each other:
This one may come as a surprise, but one of the ways we keep the fire burning is doing things without each other. Like tonight, I’m going to a concert with a girlfriend and tomorrow, he’s going to have dinner with his parents, without me. Or like in the mornings, when I take at least 30 minutes alone to meditate, dream and pray. The time alone creates space for the heart to grow fonder and mind to feel clearer. It also allows space to process our own shit so we can be more intentional in how we speak to each other, relate to each other, etc. This becomes especially important when you live together!
3. And dedicated time together:
And ya, of course dedicated time together is a no-brainer. Every Thursday night we do something together, inside the house or out. This could be cooking a meal, playing a game or even working on a budget - so long as the energy behind it is connection, we’re on track. And did I mention, this is a no Netflix zone! On weekends, we spend time with our son as a family unit at least one out of two days; we do things outdoors, play games, go to breakfast and simply just be, together.
4. We give each other space to come around after an argument
One of the surest ways to experience pull back from your partner is insist they apologize after an argument. Jack and I usually take a few minutes apart; he goes and does something in the house and I sit alone to reflect - within minutes, one of us walks over to apologize and the other responds with, “I’m sorry, too.” We never see things from a “it’s your fault” lens but rather from a “what’s my part in this” point of view.
5. Appreciation:
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, appreciation is the language of love and acts as the glue to your relationship. We practice our appreciation on three levels. The first is with our thoughts – we think nice things about each other and tell each other about it - which brings me to appreciation via words. We’re not shy or too proud to tell each other how much we appreciate one another, and we get specific! And finally, we show each other with our actions. We’ll do something we know the other would enjoy, like cook a special meal or sometimes Jack will even run me a relaxing bath….#blessed. I’ve listed here a few of many ways we keep our love strong. But I’m curious, which of these most appeals to you?
Peace & love,
Diana