How To Get Your Man To Help You With Your Triggers

When I work with women who are in a relationship, there usually comes a time when they ask, “why do I have to do all the work?” 

It’s a valid question, and I have an equally valid answer. 

The power to shift things in your life always begins with you. 

That being said, there are some powerful ways you can allow him to contribute and help you.

First off, it takes you actually telling him about the work you’re doing.

Tell him that you’ve become aware of your triggers and that he can help you by either treading lightly around those topics or reminding you that you tend to get trigger happy when for example, the cleanliness of your house comes up. 

Allow him to support you in the changes that you’re making. 

Allow me to illustrate with a personal example.

A couple of weeks ago, I got completely fed up with myself.

I could sense my anxiety rising along with the sun on that Saturday morning. 

You see, Jack (my hubby and baby daddy) works a significant amount during the week, so when the weekend strikes I have all these plans lined up for us - from fun activities to housework, to errands, I feel the need to fit it all into 48 hours. 

….annoying much? 

Like I said, I just about had enough of myself.

As Sunday evening came and Jack, our son, and I were taking a walk, it hit me hard that I was only now slowing down and actually enjoying the weekend with them. 

So I turned to Jack and said, I’m going to create a bridge for myself on Fridays to help settle into a more relaxed vibe for the weekend.

I’m going to literally say “bridge” out loud and set an intention for how I want to feel, act, and be.

And then I said, “if you remember or notice me about to go into overdrive, please say “bridge”. 

When the following weekend rolled around, I showed up completely differently.Relaxed, present, and taking in a slower pace - and guess what? We naturally packed in a lot of fun and productive work too. 

Admittedly, there was a moment where I was about to tip over into my past ways, until Jack reminded me of the bridge. What’s good for me - is good for him ;)

I had the best weekend because I showed up as my best self. 

So yes, the change you want to see begins with you - and yes, he can help you with that, too. 

Invite him into the process. Be honest about your struggles and your pain points. Let him know that you’re working on it, and offer him specific ways he can help. 

...then let me know how it goes :)

With love,

Diana