How Things Have Changed Since Having a Baby
When I was pregnant, people often told me that our lives would never be the same once we had our baby. I found it both annoying and intriguing...just exactly how would life change? Well, three months into motherhood I now have a little insight and a lot to say since having a baby.
Motherhood is the ultimate lesson in compassion. It takes a big heart to be kind to yourself when you do things “wrong” (mom guilt is a strong collective story), to see your partner clearly when you’re tired AF and to see the world through the eyes of this pure little being who’s learning absolutely everything for the first time.
When it comes to Jack and I, we communicate more than ever before. As natural as it’s felt to have Cedrik be in our lives, there’s a lot of room for misinterpretation when you’re tired and wondering how to help your baby transition into this world as seamlessly as possible. Much like Cedrik, we’re learning absolutely everything (about parenting) for the first time - and it’s important that we do it together.
Now, when it comes to the dreaded fear of most new parents, lack of sleep, I’ve found this to be pleasantly surprising. While it’s not nearly as bad as I imagined, I do sleep much less than I used to. But somehow, on most days, I find myself with the energy to not only “get through” the day, but to seize and enjoy it, too. I’ve discovered this well of energy that I can tap into from a place of love and inspiration.
“What you’ll see if, if you watch carefully, is that you have a phenomenal amount of energy inside of you. It doesn’t come from food and it doesn’t come from sleep. This energy is always available to you. At any moment you can draw upon it. It just wells up and fills you from inside. When you’re filled with this energy, you feel like you can take on the world.” Michael A. Singer, The Untethered Soul
I do some things slower, like mornings and playtime with Cedrik - and some things faster, like eating and showering! The truth is, motherhood (for me) is sometimes messy and challenging, and other times effortless and polished. I may catch my stride one day, and fall off track the next.
Everyday is an opportunity to learn and find what “balance” means for me that day. I’m able to focus a lot better on one task than I have in the past - because, I have to! Like for example, I’m writing this blog post to you now at 6:30am while baby boo is still sleeping so that I can get it to my VA who lives in Australia before it’s Tuesday morning her time. My focus is key in making this happen.
In all honesty though, other times my focus is completely divided. I may be taking care of Cedrik while responding to an “urgent” (things are only as urgent as we make them) email. Like I said, some moments are messier than others.
Even with a super hands on partner, motherhood can sometimes leave me feeling lonely; your life is largely consumed with taking care of this little human who can’t yet talk to you. But most times I feel overwhelmingly full - it’s all a mental game. To help myself stay centred and at peace, my rituals are more important than ever before. I’m so totally aware that my alignment is necessary for my health, wealth and happiness. When I’m calm and joyful, so is my business and my family. I’ve seen first hand, numerous times, that when I stay centred, I can either help Cedrik stay in that place with me, or bring him back to his centre sooner.
Since birthing my baby boy, I worry much less about the things I used to (ain’t no one got time for that). I have a deeper sense of trust in myself and my life; I don’t feel “rushed” to make it to some arbitrary end game.
That being said, I do feel rushed to get out the door when we have somewhere to be at a specific time. I’ve got to account for feeds and diaper changes that I may not see coming!
The cool thing is, I've successfully managed to go out for a few dinners on my own! Jack (God bless this man) stayed home with Cedrik while I celebrated a couple of friends' birthdays, and had an evening meeting over a well deserved glass of wine. We've also had our own date night while my super star friend took care of our little man.On the topic of travel, we're heading out on our first vacay as parents to Mexico in a week - I so look forward to this first for Cedrik, too.
Motherhood is not always a walk in the park, though we do take many of those, but I can easily say, I’ve never been more in love. I have more bursts of joy and more moments of presence. I am more conscious, that’s for sure.
Cedrik has filled my heart with intense love. Like my good friend says, it’s a love you can feel in your bones. And while I consider myself more than a mother, his smile is the brightest moment of my every day.
Peace & love,
Diana