How Do You Know When to Call it Quits?
If you’re struggling with the question of whether you should stay in or leave your relationship - this piece is for you.
First of all, allow me to empathize - I know this isn’t an easy question to sit with.
You have memories and mixed emotions of love, guilt, anger, sadness; it makes for an interesting flavour.
I also know that deep down inside, there’s a part of you that knows the answer. Trusting that you know is your next best step.
Relaxing into this idea and dropping the pros and cons list, I invite you to close your eyes and walk the different paths.
On your first path, imagine staying in your relationship, spending more time together, perhaps years. Living together, making decisions together, building a life together. Picture waking up and falling asleep next to him. Taking trips and going to restaurants and family functions. Talking and making love.
Now check in with your body - how do you physically feel? And what is the emotion underneath this feeling?
Take some notes and see what arises.
On your second path, imagine leaving the relationship; experiencing some heartbreak, and then moving on with your life. Perhaps moving to a new city, or starting a new relationship. Or maybe enjoying being single for some time. You are no longer bound by the problems of your relationship, and no longer experiencing love with this person, either.
Now check in with your body - how do you physically feel? And what is the emotion underneath this feeling?
Take some notes and see what arises.
When there is a clear clash of values, the choice to leave a relationship can feel a little more obvious. When I made the decision to leave an 8-year relationship, I asked my future self what choice she would have me make. Imagining her allowed me to step out of my current attachment to this man and to hear her answer loud and clear: it’s time to move on.
Asking your future self (who is always a more evolved version of you), what she would have you do, is an incredibly powerful way to make a choice.
You may need to ask these questions time and time again, and that is ok.
What I know from speaking with my own higher self is that there is no right or wrong answer - there is making the best of whatever decision you make, and then remaking your decision whenever needed.
I don’t know about you, but this gives me a huge sigh of relief.
Keep digging in, and in the meantime, keep doing your best to keep yourself aligned to a frequency of love.
This is where your most empowered self resides, and she knows the way.
With love,
Diana