Why Getting Married Shouldn’t Be a Decision

Why Getting Married Shouldn’t Be a Decision

To wed or not to wed, that is the question…or is it?

Should getting married be a decision? While you might think my answer would be yes because I’m an advocate for conscious choices, I don’t in fact believe that getting married should be a “decision”. Marriage should feel like a natural next step whenever and if ever, that happens to be right for you.

You see, the energy of “deciding” often means there’s some hesitation – a part of you that isn’t ready for one reason or another; maybe it isn’t the right person, or time, or maybe, you’re not into the idea of marriage – all of which are perfectly fine. If you do get married, it needs to feel like a heart swelling yes! to spending your lives – or at least a big chunk of time, together.

I’m often asked how I knew I should marry Jack. While there were many things that pointed to Jack being “the one” (the most emphatic being the gentle whisper I heard from my intuition on our first date saying “this one”), I never did decide to marry Jack. It absolutely felt like the most natural thing to do and there wasn’t a single part of me that ever questioned if this was what I wanted. Even Jack, who wasn’t enthusiastic about marriage when we first met, didn’t “decide” to marry me. He too simply followed the flow and the calling of his own heart. When it comes to marriage (and most other things in life), I agree with Abraham Hicks – if it’s not a hell yes, it’s (often) a hell no.

I’d also like to point out with a big flashing arrow, that marriage will never, ever fix your problems. Too often, I see people decide to get married, move in together or have kids in hopes of this being the glue that patches them together and fixes all their problems – and it doesn’t work. All it does is magnify the issues that were already there; the only difference is now, it’s all the more difficult to break the ties.

I understand that if you’re not used to listening to your inner voice and haven’t learned to trust yourself, that it can feel like a struggle when it comes to major  milestones and life “decisions”. You feel like you never know – to go or not to go, to do or not to do, to wed or not to wed? And this is where focusing on aligning to the spiritual part of you gets really, really important.

As you nurture the relationship you have with yourself, as you move into a place of more joy and less fear, and trust in yourself more often than you do doubt yourself, so many things in life will feel less like a decision, and more like flow – like you’re following a natural current that feels so damn good to you. It takes practice, and you’ll never get it quite done, but it will be the greatest thing you can do for your future, or current relationship – so that you too, never need to decide if you want to marry someone. It will all be so clear to you.

Peace & love,


  1. Another great one. Really interesting read. Thank you again,

    1. Thanks to you, Jean-Yves!

  2. love it so true!!!!

    1. Thank you! Glad it resonates :)


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