Working with women who “do well for themselves”, they think they’ve got the whole interdependence thing down when it comes to dating & relationships. I mean, they’ve got jobs, friends, workout routines – so naturally, they have lots of time “away” from their man of interest.
Yet something feels off and isn’t quite working for them. And that’s because there’s a missing piece to “interdependence” they’ve overlooked.
Mental space is just as important, if not more important, than the physical space you take in your relationship.
You can likely relate to this, too.
When you stop to take an honest look at how you’re being in your love life, you’ll likely find that you spend much time thinking about (and possibly obsessing about) the person you’re dating. You talk about them to your friends & co-workers and think about the relationship often – where’s this going? I wonder if he’ll ever change x,y,z? Is this really the right person for me? What did he mean when he said…?
This is far from true interdependence.
When you don’t take the mental space away from your partner or the person you’re dating, you don’t allow room for clarity and “ah-ha” moments to set in. And the truth is, you don’t learn anything about someone or find the answers to your questions by ‘thinking” about it; you get what you’re looking for by being present – presently engaged with him when you’re together and presently engaged in whatever else you’re doing when you’re apart. Which can of course include some quiet soul time with yourself (or your Love Coach) where you ask for inner guidance about to do next.
If you’re a creative in any way (hello entrepreneurs, mamas and all around life creators) you know that your best ideas come when you allow space for inspired thoughts to come through.
When it comes to dating, this lack of emotional and mental space keeps you spinning in your mind, creating stories about the person you’re with and the potential future – or not – of your coupledom. So much so, that by the time you speak to him or see each other again, all these irrational thoughts that have brewing in your mind bubble up to the surface and out of your mouth. #Mentalspacematters.
If you’re wondering how in the world you can create that space, it can truly be as simple as giving yourself permission to not think about them while you’re working/working out/with friends/relaxing/etc. It requires having sovereignty over your mind (which I can greatly help you with).
I’m not necessarily saying it’s easy, but I am saying it’s necessary.
Give yourself, the person you’re seeing and your budding interdependent relationship the gift of mental and physical, space.
Peace & love,