It’s been one hell of a week. From deadlines, to appointments and putting out random fires, you’re spent. You’d love nothing more than to take a warm bath, read your favourite book and chill out – but you’ve got this dinner thing with your boyfriend’s family. (If you don’t have a boyfriend now, you can probable relate to something like this in the past with a boyfriend or friend!)
But it would be selfish not to go…or would it?
This is a time when selfishness serves your relationship.
You and I both know, you’re not your best self when you’re exhausted. You’re cranky, snappy and unconsciously slip into a miserable version of yourself, which of course, takes a toll on your relationship.
This is when selfishness serves your relationship. Giving yourself what you need (time and a little TLC) allows you to be a more present, calm and loving partner. When you feel good, and have refilled your own cup, you then have something (love, time, attention) to give to your significant other – which obviously makes for a better relationship.
On the other hand, doing things because you “have to”, when you’re already feeling depleted, will only leave you tired and resentful.
In this light it’s easy to see, your “selfishness” is a good thing.
Your intentions aren’t to hurt anyone or disregard their needs. Your intentions are to refresh and reset, because only then can you bring your best self to the (dinner) table.
Like I always say, your relationship serves as a mirror to your internal landscape. When you’re feeling rested, calm, and happy, then these are the good vibes that your relationship will then reflect.
If you describe it this way to your man, and present him with the alternative, I can assure you he will agree.
It’s all about striking a balance, so that when you do make it out to family dinners, and all the other “life things”, you do so with pleasure because you’ve already nurtured the most important relationship in your life – the one you have with yourself.
Selfishness has a bad rep, and I’m here to help fix that.
If you’re feeling this message, you’ll love this blog post, too! The Difference Between Being Self-Absorbed and Loving Yourself.
Peace & love,