Would I like dating me?
My answer these days is a shy, “not everyday🙃” – and we’re talking married in my case! While there are glimmers of the best version of me showing up in life and my relationship, I haven’t been my aligned self quite as consistently.
That being said, by asking myself some of the powerful questions I offer you below, I’ve been able to shift this- and fast.
We’re quick to point out what our partners aren’t doing right; we’re not quite as generous with our own self reflection – like, how am I doing as a partner?
Looking at yourself from the outside in can be scary to say the least. It may reveal a whole muddle puddle of crazy – and a whole lot of beauty, too.
Being honest about how you’re showing up in your relationships will undoubtedly reveal some of your shit. Like potentially where you need to upgrade and how you need to find your way back to the person your partner first loved.
This kind of honest self reflection is an important step in repairing, shifting and transforming your relationship. I wrote about this in a similar article, Taking Accountability in Your Relationships – this is simply a different way of saying the same thing: it’s time to pull up your boot straps and own yo sh*t.
Here are some questions to help get you started:
Which do you do more of – appreciate or criticize your partner?
Are you pleasant to be around?
Do you spend most of your time in a peaceful, joyful state – or a stressed out one?
Do you know how your partner likes to be loved (physical touch, words of affection, favours, etc)?
Do you love your partner the way they want to be loved – or the way you think they should want to be loved?
Are your expectations higher of your partner than they are of yourself?
Are you choosing love more often than (fill in the blank)?
These aren’t easy questions to ask – or answer.
But the more honest you are in your answers, the more progress you’ll make in being a better partner and inspiring and accepting nothing but great love.
Because the only person you have any control over in your relationship, is your self.
Our problems with others can so often be fixed by solving our own. But we neglect this simple solution and fixate on the things we wish we could change about others – which hardly gets us anywhere but seemingly feels much easier to do.
When you find yourself in a rut complaining about your partner, stop and ask yourself – would I like dating me?
Peace & love,