Self-Love: Leaning Into The Softer Side

Self-Love: Leaning Into The Softer Side

I know how hard it can be to love yourself; to appreciate every inch of your body, admire yourself more than you do criticize, to not be insecure.

There’s no question that as a woman, our worth is largely measured by our beauty. Hell, we often still size each other up in that very same way.

And there’s no denying that men want a physically attractive woman, which means the fear that you may not be thin, curvy, pretty or sexy enough, has likely played some role, big or small, in why you’re struggling with love.

Like my client, who for the sake of this article I’ll call Jen. The other day I was having a session with Jen, who by most societal standards is a total knockout. Buuuut, she’s riddled with insecurities about her “aging” skin and body. Which obviously keeps her from getting close to a man. 

I get it. The struggle to be seen as beautiful through the ages and stages is real. And still, we must rise.

How do we do that?

By choosing to lean into the softer side, more often than not. We have to ask questions like: How is being hard on myself making me me feel? And how is this feeling derailing me from living my best life? How can I be nicer to myself, and choose a kinder perspective? What can I choose to focus on instead?

And this “softer side” is applicable to every area of your life.

If you’re not reaching your desired milestones or goals (I like to call them visions!), ask yourself: What can I be proud of? What has evolved? How have I grown?

And if you really can’t think of anything, focus on creating the next iteration of you vs obsessing about what you haven’t yet managed to do.

This is not easy stuff. This is not how we’ve been brought up to live. This is going to require a shit ton of faith and self-compassion.

This will CHANGE YOUR LIFE – and your relationships.

As someone who’s seeing glimmers of the other (self-compassion and cheering myself on), I can tell you without any hesitation at all, that shaming myself has never been as impactful as praising myself. Ever.

So if it’s not only a better looking life that you’re wanting, but a better feeling one, too, choose to lean into the softer side. 

With love,

Diana X

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