Prejudice and Dating

Prejudice and Dating – Why I Can No Longer Stand By as You State Your Cultural Preferences

Like the rest of the world, I’m still reeling from last week’s tragedies.


Something inside of me is stirring and the following needs to be said. Please know that I say this with so much love.


It’s commonplace inside of conversations around dating for people to place their preferences for which nationalities they’d like to date and which they have absolutely no interest in engaging with.


And for the longest time, I tried to understand.


It’s almost become “normal” to speak in these terms when referring to an ideal partner. Usually alongside other qualities such as the guy having to be financially successful, tall, funny, you know the likes.


This reminds me of a consultation I had with a potential client who began by telling me how spiritual and open-minded she is, then proceeded to tell me that I had the perfect skin colour because I wasn’t too dark and how she doesn’t date black men because it reminds her of the “Nigerian scammers”, in her words.


I had to kindly tell her that she may want to reconsider her definition of being spiritual and open-minded.


Last week’s “events” show us in no uncertain terms that the prejudice has to stop. 

The narrative has to change. 

We cannot (and I will not) participate in the division of humanity.


Let me be clear that violence and anger is not the appropriate response.


Keeping your heart open is.


—> Notice where you hold judgment towards people of different nationalities. Acknowledgment is the first step to change. You are not a bad person. You have been raised by a deeply fearful society that has instilled within you this fear and ignorance. The buck can stop with you.


—> Question your prejudices and beliefs. Like any coach or personal development junkie will tell you, questioning your beliefs is the first way to strip them of their blinding power over you. Bring those subconscious beliefs to the surface, and mother fucking look at them.


—> Choose to truly “see” others. Stop categorizing people and start seeing them with a soft gaze. Look through eyes of love. Find what you can appreciate about each human that crosses your path. 


—> And please, for the love of humanity, do not decide who you will or will not date based on the colour of their skin, their country of origin, their mother tongue.


Take a wholehearted look at each individual as just that – an individual, fabricated by the same hands of Divinity as you.


It’s time to lift the veil, ladies. To see how we’ve played into racism, even unknowingly. To rise in love and raise humanity and future generations.


Are you with me?

With love,

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