Where Are You Giving Up Your Power In The Relationship?

Where Are You Giving Up Your Power In The Relationship?

Where are you giving up your power?

This I admit, is not an easy question to answer.

What does power mean? So many of us have an image of what it means to be powerful based on what we’ve observed in successful, wealthy and influential people.

Most of the women I work with assume this means knowing what you want, knowing how to get it and not putting up with anyone’s shit along the way. The undertone of this kind of power is one of toughness. You’ve got to be tough, unstoppable and a hard ass to get what you want.

I also work with women who operate on the complete opposite end of the spectrum. They give, give, give until they have nothing left to give themselves. And because it makes those around them feel good, they think this is their power. 

In fact, where giving and receiving meet therein lies your power.

You are your most powerful when you know how to open your arms and receive – from people, from yourself, from the Universe. You are in your power when you make choices that are aligned with your vision, values and worth. When you not only respect others, but yourself, too.

You are also most in your power, when you are simultaneously giving to others – sharing compliments, gifts, your talents. When you lend a helping hand, not from a place of putting yourself and your needs last, but from being so full with gratitude that you can’t help but WANT to share that goodness with others. You make choices that encourage this cycle of giving and receiving.

I can’t tell you how many women find this hard to do, yourself likely included.

We tend to live on extreme ends of the spectrum at different points in our lives, but like inhaling and exhaling, we thrive when we strike that balance of both giving and receiving.

There’s a lot of talk about teaching “Alpha” females to receive the love of a man. And I can attest to this. Working with women who don’t “need” a man, they often close themselves off to what they want – a partnership with a man – by refusing to let the man support them.

We so often sabotage the very thing we’re most wanting.

And then there’s the woman who bends over backwards to give to her man, to the point of utter depletion and lack of self-respect.

Neither extreme works.

A partnership is about both giving and receiving. This is the most powerful way you can show up in any relationship.

So today, take some time to reflect on these questions:

In which ways am I closing myself off to love, not willing to receive it?

In which ways do I deplete myself by giving too much?

What is my version of standing in my power, knowing how to both give and receive?

And if you’re feeling inspired, let me know what you come up with!

 

With so much love,

Diana X

 

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