You meet a guy and start thinking to yourself, “This is it. This is the guy I’ve been looking for. He’s exactly what I want and I couldn’t be happier.” Things are moving along smoothly. You talk every day, see each other all the time, share your hopes and dreams – he even tells you he loves you and can’t imagine his life without you.
He pulls the disappearing act. He’s distant, gets in touch way less often (if at all), and no longer calls you babe. You’re left wondering, why…
I’ve seen this happen far too many times, and there are many reasons why. One of the most common being, you put your happiness in his hands and it was far too heavy a weight for him to carry.
A good man wants to make you happy – what he doesn’t want is to feel like your happiness is dependent on and conditional to, what he does and doesn’t do. It’s a whole lot of pressure that he can’t quite bear (and shouldn’t have to!).
A man wants to add to your happiness; not be it.
When you put your happiness in a man’s hands, he gets nervous. He wonders if he’ll ever live up to your expectations, and fears the day he’ll let you down.
He starts to pull away, and you start feeling desperate. So you move in closer, which only further pushes him away. It’s not the kind of cycle you want to find yourself in.
The woman he fell for was confident, dynamic and had a full life. This woman who can only conjure up a smile if he does exactly what she wants, feels like a stranger to him.
Put yourself in his shoes. Have you ever had someone cling to you as the source of their well being and happiness?
While it may temporarily boost your ego, it ultimately feels like too much to handle. Because it is.
A good man wants to make you smile – and he knows that there’s no way he can satisfy your every want and need and be the only source of happiness in your life. So rather than eventually fail you, he’ll cut to the chase and fail you not by dipping out early.
This can all be avoided by practicing interdependence and taking back the responsibility of your happiness.
*Schedule activities with friends, and alone.
*Work on creative projects.
*Get back to your workouts.
And let your happiness be something you share with him.
[And feel free to share this article with someone you know who needs it!]
Peace & love,