There are few things more devastating than a broken heart from a break up.
I’ve been there a few times over, and it hurt just as much every time. The one difference however was that I knew I would eventually feel better, because practice makes…perfect?
That doesn’t change the fact that break ups suck. They leave you feeling helpless, lifeless and totally disoriented. If only you could call on that person and have them wrap their arms around you…
And yet with all that said, I’d like you to consider this next thing I’m about to say with an open heart and mind.
It’s not so much losing the person that’s making you feel this devastated, it’s the thoughts you’re having about no longer being with them that are hurting you.
And that’s actually a great thing.
Because you can’t control people. But you do have some say over your thoughts. And knowing this is one massive step in the direction of healing your broken heart.
As humans, we’re blessed with these big emotions that reflect our thoughts. Like if I asked you to think about biting into a lemon, you would get a real physical reaction in your body – like a watery mouth. Or if I told you to recall that person who cut you off on the road and dared to give you the finger, you’d feel the rage start to creep in. Yeah, your emotions are directly linked to the thoughts you’re having.
And so even though you could never monitor every one of your 50,000-70,000 thoughts in a day, you can pay more attention to how you’re feeling
But feelings are scary, right?
We’ve been taught from an early age to be afraid of our big emotions. I see it every day in my son’s life. The moment he starts to cry, everyone panics and tells him to “stop crying”. Even with their good intentions, he learns that his feelings are something to put away and possibly even be ashamed or scared of.
Just last week I spoke with a client who was afraid to feel her pain out of fear that the Law of Attraction would bring her more of it. The fear is real, y’all.
But here’s the thing.
The pain is there – whether you look at it or not. The only difference is that if you don’t look, it operates in the background, deep in the subconscious with no release and no space to be felt or explored.
What would better serve you is to look your fear in the eye, explore what you’re truly afraid of, feel the depth of that fear, and then bravely let it go…knowing it doesn’t serve you.
These fears often sound like:
I’m not lovable
I’ll always be alone
People always leave me
I’m hopeless and will never find hope or love again
I’m afraid of starting over
I’m afraid of being behind
I don’t have the strength to do this all over again
I can’t live without X
You need to feel these fears and clear the space (often by way of tears) to move them through and out of you.
When you allow yourself to move through the fear, you can then start to shift towards more empowering and loving thoughts by looking at the lessons learned, the love you experienced, how you’re evolving from this and will continue to evolve.
You can finally move into the more loving perspective.
Essentially, when you move through the fear and the pain, you lean into the space in which you can find the blessings.
If you honour the loss, you can find the lessons; whether that means you end up with that person or not.
As you access the wisdom from your experience, you will notice that piece by piece your heart starts to feel whole again. That is how you will find your healing.
And of course, friends, laughter and basking in the things you appreciate go a long way, too.
Peace & love,