Fear of Sharing Space with a Partner

Fear of Sharing Space with a Partner

If the thought of sharing space with someone scares you, you will want to keep reading this.


I recently took a poll in my free Facebook group, Date With Dignity, and asked the women what they are most struggling with or wanting to grow into.


Most answered where to meet good men, and the others added their own category about releasing the fear of sharing space with a partner.


Which brings me to an ah-ha moment I had with a client in a session the other day.


She works a lot, and she was trying to imagine what it would be like to share space with a partner – considering some weeks she works 100+ hours, of which many are at home.


Could she have a partner who could respect this and give her space?


We came to realize that she had set up her home and workspace to mimic the “chaos” of her childhood, where she had no designated space to work in solitude.


Her assignment then became to find a way to create that space and to start imagining what it would be like to live in a home with a partner where she had privacy for alone time and how she would respond to him when he came in to “interrupt” her (knowing she hasn’t always handled this in the most graceful way in the past).


The other piece involved imagining a partner who could work alongside her on his own projects, or go off and do something on his own.


This was huge!


It amazes me how we actually are so afraid of sharing space.


And I totally get it.


I am a woman with routines that I absolutely love.


I remember feeling panicked at the idea that I would one day share my space and time. And now, I not only do it with one person, but two – a man and a toddler who has no concept of privacy!


Still, we have to find a way to work through this because living in a community, being surrounded by people that we love, sharing space, being connected, learning how to grow and create together, is really what makes this life so worthwhile.


We are not meant to go the road alone. 


You could argue that this is why there are 7+ billion of us here.


And so, if you’re finding it tricky to imagine sharing your space with a future partner, I would love for you to


a) recognize that this is sabotaging your love life
b) try the things below:


  • Create a place or routine that allows you to have time alone, in preparation for this new partner. 


  • Visualize someone in your space; welcoming and opening your heart to it.


  • Whenever you notice that your heart is closing to the idea, breathe through it and find your way back to an open heart space.


Spaciousness is one of my favorite words to use to describe conscious love.


So tell me, what does spaciousness mean to you in the context of love? 



With love,

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