Are You Making this Dating Mistake?

Are You Making this Dating Mistake?

I’ve seen this happen too many times. A woman meets a man who she’s interested in. She wants to keep his attention, and not scare him off, so she pretends like a relationship is the last thing she wants. Meanwhile, they’re spending more time together and her feelings for him are soaring…then BAM. She flips.

She goes from being easy, breezy, cool – to downright confusing. Now all the things she’s kept inside are quickly spilling over. She’s letting out her frustrations about the state of their “non” relationship and changing the name of her game – she isn’t just in this for the fun – she wants a relationship with HIM. 

Needless to say, the guy is shocked and wondering what happened to that cool gal he’d been spending all this time with. He’s scared, she’s spiralling, and the whole thing starts to crumble.

So how can this dating mistake be avoided?

By not pretending in the first place. No one’s saying you gotta lay all your cards out on the first date (in fact, please don’t), just don’t make an effort to deny something that’s important to you – wanting a meaningful relationship with the right person.

I don’t believe you need to make your endgame clear to the person you’re seeing from the get go, nor do I believe you need to hide the fact that being in a relationship is important to you.

What you can do instead is talk about the things you want in a general, relaxed way. When it comes to expressing that you’d love to be in a relationship someday, you can say something like, “I look forward to being in a great relationship one day” or, “being in a committed relationship is a big part of what I see for my future” or, “I really enjoy being on my own as much as I enjoy being in a good relationship.” These are honest statements that don’t imply you need him to be your boyfriend. He gets the chance to know you better, without any pressure.

And do you see how nowhere in that expression of your desire do you mention anything about making him the guy for you? Because you know what? Maybe he isn’t! You’re still in the exploration phase and you don’t yet know enough about him to give him such a leading role in your life. Again, we’re talking about the early stages of dating here and a common dating mistake I see all too often.

You never need to pretend you’re something or someone you’re not, just to attract or keep a guy around. Instead of playing games, keeping your guard up or putting on a front, act from a place of self-worth and self-respect. 

Make sense?

If you have any questions about how to date more consciously, I want to talk to you. Fill out this form, and let’s see about booking a consultation together.

Peace & love,

Diana

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